Just like it is a surefire every parent will go through a temper tantrum session with a child. There is a time in the entrepreneurial journey where we question – is it a sign to throw in the towel or keep going?
This usually happens when you are at cross roads in your business. When you know it’s time to make a bold move to go to the next level (or else) I mean the kind of move where it feels scary and exciting, a decision you know it is necessary, such as charging more, changing your target market or your business direction, hiring team members or investing in a coach that will hold you accountable, guide and support you.
The unknown can be a scary thing for what I call “lil u.” I’ll explain what I mean in today’s article, as well as share with you what to do about it and if it is a sign for you to throw in the towel or keep going. My clients and I call it “The Breakdown before the massive Breakthrough.”
My clients report it’s happened to them as well from time-to-time. When they make the decision to go for it. There is a nagging voice inside their head that says what if it doesn’t work? what if it doesn’t work for me? who do you think you are? The first time this happened to me, I asked myself where is this voice coming from? and how do I shut-it-up?!
In the past, I became overwhelmed. I’d get really flustered with my husband for no apparent reason. Or cry, get blinding migraine headaches for days. Or, my technology breaks down all at once as if the Mercury Retrograde is against me. I want to advance badly but I could feel a tremendous resistance coming up. I didn’t know why?
Here is what I discovered.
It’s what I call the “lil u,” the part of you that will do whatever it takes to keep you from making a massive contribution to the world, the part of you that will fight tooth and nail to keep you exactly where you are now.
Here’s how the “lil u” works: it doesn’t much care about what the Big U wants. In fact, it is quite afraid of our “Big U” dreams and aspirations. Our “lil u” distorts perception. It thinks it will take an enormous amount of energy for us to get what we want. Yes, our “lil u” is l-a-z-y. Our “lil u’s” agenda is to stick to the same ol’ same ol’…no matter how much you want something different. In order to put the brakes on you fast the “lil u” is adamant about using your creative energy to fabricate challenges and magnify obstacles to take you off track. Its job is to also provide you with valid “evidence” to justify you quitting (NOT-UNDER-MY-WATCH).
This is due to the way we are mentally programmed. Imagine the “lil u” being a 7-year-old child who wants to eat dessert before dinner. The “Big U,” is the parent who sets boundaries, makes the rules and guides the child.
As you can see, unless the Big U is in charge, then “lil u” will walk all over you, kick & scream and throw temper tantrums. When your “lil u” is in charge you’ll more likely than not make choices that can lead and show up in the form of unusual physical distress, unexpected expenses, relationships conflicts, and many other odd situations.
When you see it for what it is, just a scary “lil u” having a tantrum (out of fear even though there is nothing to be afraid of) Your Big U can take charge like a good parent would do, hold your “lil u’s” hand and reassure that everything will be ok.
This is what I practice whenever I want to go to the next level. I make sure that my Big Me is in charge. It isn’t fun to have a scary “lil u” running the show, isn’t it? By taking charge you’ll avoid a lot of the “breakdown before the massive breakthrough” drama.
Entrepreneurs can’t afford to lack on this kind of skill, as you can imagine, those who do get thrown off track easily. If you are one of them you cancel meetings because of a headache, you are out of integrity trying to get out of your contracts, and you show up late to commitments, you have a financial crisis.
When you start applying what I shared here with you. You’ll not only tame your “lil u” but also enroll this natural part of you in being cooperative and channeling its energy creatively to help you become aware of opportunities that are already right under your nose to bring you closer to your goals.
Now, share here what are 3 steps you’ll take when you face the breakdown before the massive breakthrough? Be prepared.
P.S. With this kind of skill, your breakdown before the massive breakthrough is short if any at all. If it happens, you can navigate it with ease and grace (no tantrum takes forever, right?!), this is the skill that defines if you will make it or break it. This is defiantly NOT a sign to throw in the towel but to keep going.